I had been standing in line to vote for about 10 minutes when the nice volunteers came around and pulled the elderly gentleman directly in front of me out of line. They told him they could offer him some assistance in voting, to which he replied "thatta be good, seein' as how i don't read nor write." They then explained to him, when it was his turn, they would read the ballot aloud and he could tell them which candidate he would like to vote for. Then, he re-joined the line, directly in front of me. Meanwhile, I had stricken up a conversation with the gentleman, Mr. Smith, in line behind me. As we were discussing the fact that 20 of the 24 representatives on the ballot had no opponents, the elderly gentleman, David Lee, turned around to join the conversation. Or so we thought.
He began by telling us he had never voted before, and Mr. Smith told him, "Well, congratulations on voting today!"
David Lee proceeded to tell us he was only here to vote for the president to which Mr. Smith added, "well, I wish you would vote for everything, but it's a great to be involved and at least you are here."
David Lee said, "You don't know how much power I have"
I assumed he meant, by voting he had power, and his vote counts, and he is ultimately choosing the next leader of our country. Obviously, Mr. Smith agreed and told David Lee, "you are right, we all have power by voting...blah, blah, blah."
Then the conversation took quite and interesting turn.
David Lee continued by saying "Satan is evil, and will try to get in your heart, but you can't let him. He killed all his children. He is evil."
Mr. Smith whispered under his breath, "oh no" and moved away towards the windows on the other side of the hall where he was keeping his coffee and newspaper. Meanwhile, I'm thinking, don't leave me! How do I respond, what do I do? Then I thought, oh, he has powers...like he has God on his side and the power of the Lord to keep Satan out. WRONG.
Just then, David Lee looks me right in the eyes and asks me, "Who do you think got OJ Simpson, Michael Jackson and Ray Lewis out of jail?" I nervously look down at my feet and respond with "I don't' know...um, uhhh, I have never thought about it before" David Lee proceeds to tell me HE DID. He has powers. And I don't know how much power he has.
All I can think is, great! There is a certifiably insane, old, crotchety, country, and toothless man in front of me in a line, to vote no less, that is at least 100 people deep and an hours wait. WHO THINKS HE HAS POWERS.
As my jaw begins to lift off the floor, my brain also starts ticking along again and i think: if he really has powers, don't you think he would be bestowed with the power to read and write? Of course he would! So, not being as worried that he might cast a spell on me, I decide the best plan of action is to ignore him and maybe he will stop talking. Miraculously, it worked. Well that and the fact that Mr. Smith realized he was in the wrong polling place. Which was followed with a few minutes of drama, as a panic spread through the crowd as everyone began to worry they were in the wrong place.
After the drama, and checking to make sure I was in the correct place, I befriended as many other people behind me, in case Mr. Powers decided to strike up another conversation.
We made it all the way to the front with no other incidents and I thought that was the last I would hear from ole Mr. Powers.
It was then his turn to show ID and vote. The lady checking IDs said, "I'm sorry sir, you are at the wrong place, you are supposed to be at the fire station." First of all, why did this keep happening? He had his voter card which said he was at the correct place. But none of this really matters because all I can think is, great...way to piss of the man with the powers. I'm trying to give her the look of-you better not make him angry, he has powers...don't say anything else. PLEASE.
Well Mr. Powers shouts, "That's fine, you can keep it" and tosses his paper at her. "He ain't gonna get my vote. I'll just leave. I ain't' goin to the fire station, he just won't get my vote" The young man who is going to read the ballot comes over and explains Mr. Powers is going to vote as he is going to read to him. The lady says, no he is in the wrong place...and the kid says, "just give him a provisional ballot." I think he started to realize Mr. Powers is crazy because at this point he is getting mad and yelling. Then the lady says, "well I already voided his slip, so he is going to have to fill another one out." Mr. Powers, yells, "I caint..I don't know how. I caint do it!" The kid, bless his heart, calms Mr. Powers down and helps him fill out another form. That's when Mr. Powers says, "Now if you get in trouble for this, you just let me know. I'll getcha outta jail...I'll call the judge. Just let me know, I know the judge, I'll getcha out." The kid is like, "uh ummm, okay...but its fine, I can fill this out for you."
Well, I guess he can get anybody out of anything...I mean, a kid at the polling place, MJ, OJ...whose next. I'm sure I can come up with a long list of people who would like to meet him and put his powers to work.
By this time, I have begun to vote, but am rather distracted as I want to hear EVERYTHING Mr. Powers has to say. Fortunately, he and the kid are right behind me. As the kid begins to read the candidates for president, Mr. Powers yells, "Just put me down for the black man." Kid replies, "Sir, I have to read all the candidates." When he gets to Obama, Mr. Powers again yells, "That's the one, I want to vote for the black man...put me down for Obama."
By now, I am done voting, and as much as it pained me to leave and miss any more excitement, I left.
However, I do remember Mr. Power's address....might have to start driving by to see what goings-on are happening at the old homestead. Quite an interesting feller. Plus, you never know when those "powers" might come in handy.
